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Worst Console Ever
Jared bought the worst console ever at a flea market and wants to show off how horrible it is! Synopsis Jared doesn't know what this is! Jared bought this console for $15 at a flea market from a guy that barely speaks English. This console isn't even listed on the company's website! This console was released after the Wii, because it is a Wii rip-off. It's barely bigger than a SNES cartridge and is very light (Jared even throws it to demonstrate). It only has mono sound - like the 1985 NES! The cartridges and controllers are tiny. The console and controller have flashing lights on them, and Jared feels like he should be in a rave (a reference to the PlayStation Move episode). 8 in 1 Jared has an 8 in 1 cartridge and can't wait to see how bad this thing will be. They are all sports games, with an annoying looped music track playing on the menu. In Place Kick Master, the goalie is so happy for the player that he starts rocking out, and when he blocks he starts jerking off some imaginary dicks. Jared shows off the Soccer transmitter, which he straps to his leg for fake motion controls. Bowling is next, and the lane is enormous, and the avatar is Wallace Breen which they stole from Half Life 2. Tennis is one player, and Jared has no idea how to play and presses every button. The game sucks. Fishing is lame and Ping Pong is the same as Tennis. The Golf game is much smoother than the others, and the gameplay is weird. It works, but is very simple. World Series (Baseball) - The game plays out in weird cut-scenes. When the other team is batting, the sprites of both teams look very different and are all different to what the title screen character looks like. Jared gets a home run and is terrified by how the crowd looks. The last game is TV Boxing, and it has an Age meter. Jared is confused and starts to panic again. The controls feel weird and when Jared's opponent falls over, they look like a giant collapsing onto the street. 32 in 1 Jared pulls out a 32 games in 1 cartridge. He's going to play them all. There are a lot of very basic games like a Snake clone, Tetris clone, Break Out clone, a boring archery game and Shudu, which is Sudoku. Fireman is like a weird break-out clone who puts out fires with his face, collects money and trumpets. Lawn Purge has no music. The controller sucks, the D-Pad is like a Xbox 360 D-Pad, but less responsive. The guy says "Oh no!" when he runs over anything that isn't grass. It look Jared three attempts to get past the first stage. The game even starts cheating. Jared is excited to see Zuma. It's Zuma with a really bad controller and not being able to control properly. Boxes World is a puzzle game with terrible music, controls and bad sound effects. Fighting is Bee Fighting - a Galaga clone. Tank is a hard game. This game seems to actually be complete, as it has multiple levels, results screen and power-ups. A guitar sound plays when the player hits a tank that needs multiple attacks to take it down. This Shoot game (or Shooting Ballons), and it is a rip-off of Buster Bros. (or Pang). Jared likes that game, but this game sucks as the balloons don't pose any threat. Pro-Crack is Buster Bros again! Fish War is a game where the player is a fish that has to eat smaller fish to get bigger. Players need to watch out for sharks and crabs. 16 in 1 In a 16 games in 1, a picture shows an image of a kid (with one eye) who is having a good time for someone who is about to get blown up by a missile. This cartridge doesn't have many notable games either. Aqua Mix is a Puyo Pop clone. Duel Soccer is Foosball. Maze Pac is Tetris, and Pets Crossing is Frogger with a squeaky bunny. Hammer is like arcade games from the 80's. It is probably stolen from something. Rugged Hammer is a puzzle game like Wrecking Crew, but Jared doesn't know what to do. Harry he thinks this will be a Double Dragon game, but is way off and is confused as to what is going on. He sees a cake, and tries to get to it, but the character can't reach that high and Jared is saddened. Loop Legend is another puzzle game - just drop balls at your leisure. Fancy is another puzzle game. Push blocks around and sometimes they'll disappear. The cat is pretty cute. Farm Keeper has a monkey on the title screen which grabs Jared's attention. All you do is use the monkey to bounce peaches across the screen. Smart Bomber is a Bomberman clone with no power-ups, enemies that respawn instantly, and bombs will kill you even if you hide from them. Tiger Man is a guy shooting helicopters. Tiny helicopters! When Tiger Man dies, he keeps shooting, and pleasures his gun while shooting it. Golden Gate has Lilo on the title screen. This is kind of like Pong, and the AI can't beat Jared's strategy of standing there. Apex Gun is a shoot-em up that isn't terrible. It may be Jared's favorite game on here. The controller though makes this game very hard. The next game isn't called anything. Jared calls it Pixie Princess Dandelion of the Death Knell. Pixie squeegees a picture clean and runs from a ghost. This game cheats! Jared completes the picture with health still remaining - Game Over! Jared doesn't like racing games but has to play them. Over Speed has an obnoxious engine sound. Hitting other cars sets them on fire, and Jared has a first AND third person view. One of the cars is still driving with just wheels on fire, and Jared is angered when he finds that destroying cars loses points. However, this doesn't actually affect the score at all! Motor Storm uses the same sounds and music as Over Speed! The drivers have to drive INTO the finish line, and the signs get smaller as Jared drives closer to them! Highway Racing again uses the same sounds and music as Over Speed! It's the same game, only a top down view. This is Jared's favorite as the car travels at 400 mph. Suddenly, Superman flies past. Jared was determined to beat this game, and as soon as Jared beat the third level, it went back to the starting screen and glitched. So, they didn't expect anyone to actually beat their game. They probably didn't think anyone would actually buy this. There's no effort put into the hardware or software.This game has no soul, no love and no purpose. Even the dumbest of kids would find the games too boring or hard or easily exploited.There are many Wii ripoffs, but this is one of the worst as it fakes its motion controls. There aren't many games that can hold anyone's attention for a few minutes. The only real use for the entire console and its peripherals is to use them as weapons in case an intruder comes into your house - where you will be shot. Category:Videos Category:ProReview